Think yourself happy

I hate living in a small town. I am lonely, bored, and sad. I told this to my therapist who also lives in this small town, and the atmosphere got noticeably colder. People in Minnesota are state-triotic, and you best not bash it. Small towns are worse, I think. 

“Focus on the things that make you feel good, and do more of that,”

is what she told me. 

Right. 

It’s that simple

when the only medication that halfass  works and causes me somewhat less than egregious mental defect causes me to feel like I have the flu

when the mental defect makes concentrating on anything interesting almost impossible

when I don’t take the medication, walking – nay, existing – feels like I’m hitting my joints with a heavy duty claw hammer

when the only entertainments available to me are within walking distance

when I’ve been to those things two dozen times already

when the mosquitoes up here are vicious fuckers and I don’t want to cover myself in chemicals

when doing anything fun or interesting often requires money

when none of these shops needs help

when nobody wants to hire an outsider who has a physical disability and a learning disability anyways. 

It’s so simple.