Idk how to title this

I found out via mail – because I requested the imaging and report of that MRI from September – that I have mild stenosis and moderate left and mild right facet arthrosis in my lower spine. When I say that my jaw dropped when I learned what facet arthrosis means and that I was friggin right when I thought I might have stenosis –

About a month ago, before I learned about any of this, I sent them an email asking if it was possible I had cervical instability and can I pursue that route with the doctor. A woman called me and said I should continue to follow up with rheumatology since my ANA was positive and to see a neurosurgeon; no referral or other information. Then I found out about the report from the NP and sent the two emails.

Another few days later, another woman called me and said I didn’t get told because my results are mild and it wasn’t deemed important enough, but at the same time she scheduled me an appointment with the same doctor. The same day I received the report, which was after both of those calls, I received a letter saying I didn’t get told because of a communications/technology blackout/breach at the clinic. Which is it, Chad?? My doctor’s name is actually Chad, which is fucking hilarious now that I think about it.

It helps explain the joint and muscular pain that have been slowly increasing for the last year or so in both my hips and legs; the pain in my pelvis and loss of sensation therein for the last five-plus years; and the nerve pain and possibly other symptoms in my left foot and left leg that have been attributed to CRPS for the last six years.

Before I knew I had received the report, I talked to my primary with concerns I have nerve compression, and she asked me what I want her to do. I don’t know, aren’t you the gotdamn doctor?? She had access to that MRI report, also failed to talk with me about it, and has ordered tests to try to figure out my pelvic pain. I know there are things I can be doing to help mitigate my lower back and limb pain but I don’t know what they are, and even if I call the PT I was seeing before, she still can’t help me cuz there’s not a doctor that’s said specifically what’s going on. I still don’t know what’s going on with my head/neck/upper torso pain, GI problems, fatigue, facial tingling/numbness, arm weakness, and cognitive problems.

I’ve got this calm, welding flame kind of anger but internally it’s

The only good piece of finding out was being in a video call with Finn. He was and is supportive and empathetic, and googled the things with me after I regained enough awareness to tell him what the report said. He said he’ll support me in any way he can in getting through it.

This is part me venting, and part me documenting this bullshit. I need to take screenshots of the phone calls, and I’m so glad I saved the message the neurology clinic left on a damn weekend morning when I couldn’t call back.