It’s been a while

And now I have that friggin Staind song in my head, thanks brain (″･ิ_･ิ)っ

since I put anything here. Life intervened and I stopped posting, then I suppose it intervened again and here I am.

• Two angry and confused patient portal emails sent to the neurologist who found bulging discs and other stuff I didn’t fully understand in my lumbar spine a few months ago and didn’t tell me. I found out from an NP 2 days ago. Also maybe rejected the concept that the documented 20+ year old syrinx in my cervical spine is perhaps causing some part of my problems??
• One plan to find a new GP cuz she didn’t tell me about the bulging discs & whatnot either. She poorly handled telling me about growths in my thyroid. She’s not terribly proactive about giving me referrals or figuring out what to test for. She and I don’t vibe as well as I’d like. She’s the first GP I found after getting sick who understands me, believes there’s something wrong, and believes that I know my body and what tends to work best for it. Buuut, I’ve come to realise that those things are basic expectations and I need more than that
• One current referral to a different neurology clinic
• Some really, really high hopes that this doctor/clinic won’t start the Carousel of Medical Professional Bullshit (CMPB) when I present my extensive symptoms and suggest I might have spinal instability. Since, you know, there’s images of problems in my spinal cord, and thus far my symptoms can’t be otherwise explained
• One partner I’m amazingly lucky to have who believes he’s lucky to have me (which is true, cuz I’m fabulous), henceforth known as Finn, and/or 7,894,531 other probably cutesey names
• One shawl knitting project I’m so close to finishing and I’m really excited! I just realised, pics or it didn’t happen
• One plan to get all The Witcher novels, and have 4 so far. Also I’m friggin excited for series 2!!!
• One vague plan to turn this blogtatiousness into writing, drawing, and painting more often

Symptom Gardening

1. Bullet points are easier to write today cuz holy brain fog Batman, even with adderall & food
2. Insomnia last night til around 4 am, part from medical anxiety and probably part period insomnia
3. Pain in my shoulder woke me up around 6 AM & made me cry it was so bad
   1. Did some googling and figured it might be some pinched tissue nonsense. Found an old tube of Bengay and it dispensed way too gotdamn much. The smell and the feeling let me go back to sleep so it maaaaybe wasn’t too much
   2. Is still sore and tight at 230 pm but it’s not bawling my face off level
4. I realised that putting my body into good posture – torso upright, shoulders back – causes my upper abdominal pain and it is not just on movement and standing. It may be causing back pain? My back does get sore if I stand for too long but I kinda thought it was from not being able to work out and stretch enough. It’s hard to tell what’s actually in pain when I have constant body aches and fatigue. Idk, I’m on my period and everything in my body is bitching about its existence as well
5. Slight tingling in my lips, tongue, and jaw. Feels like I ate some Anbesol