Practicing aloofness

Despite my intentions to keep random people out of my medical business, my automatic response is to be nice and sociable. I can’t turn it off! I have to figure out how to be selective with it, or else I’m going to remain ashamed for not standing up for myself.

Today some lady asked me what “I did.” I said I tore some ligaments. She goes, “You have to be more careful!” in a laughing, jokey mom voice. I just smiled, right under my side eye. After I left and did fifteen minutes of angry crying, I came up with “I’ll take that into account next time I have a freak accident.” Can you feel the breeze from my eye roll? Sigh. But I guess because of her, I was able to be a little rude to the busybody librarian.

“Oh, you have your crutches again!”

Annoyed shrug.

“But you were doing so well!”

“Not particularly, actually,” I said in a Get Out of My Business voice, already three feet past and not looking at her.

“Oh.”

Ugh. I need to put up a banner in my bedroom that says, “It is not mean or selfish to have boundaries.” And maybe another that says “Not abiding passive aggression is okay. You’re still a nice person.” It’s hard being Super Empathetic.